all in van

all in vain




Who would ever believe this, years of their best years gone with the wind, just like that. With no distinct, obvious, or logical reasons. First time he saw his fragrance and the girl of his dreams Sarah, he was about 16. He was completely attracted to her beauty, she was irresistible. He did his best to attract her attention. He told his and her friends, his family and everyone around was told. She was just about 14 and she needed a time to grow up then to realize. She was the kind of girl that he had always wanted - so nice, charming, sweet, understanding, and everything.

As days gone, she completed her high school and reached 18 and he became thinking another way toward her. While she was studying through the four gone years, he left his school early and started to be an able person to work. He thought if he wants to get over her so, he has to gain and make money. He thought she would finish her school and he’ll be willing to build a great and romantic base for a brilliant and wonderful couple. Her only, and him.

Throughout that time, he didn’t ever think that he’d be involved with any other girl,. Truly there were many chances to fall in love with others, and much more to follow. Nevertheless, he couldn’t let any other to share his heart even his mind with her. On the other hand, he doesn’t remember that he checked out her behavior or manners while he wasn’t there close to her, because he trusted and believed his senses and emotions.

Once they were talking, they talked in many things and she heard his first confession that he has been lovin’ her during the last four years. He promised he would give her everything she wanted and all she needed to do was to love and to understand the way he loves her.
‘This’s unbelievable’. (Sarah said) You kept all those words and feelings inside of you all that time.
Oh, god I must be fool that I haven’t shared that torment and pain with you. However, how! How could you carry on without hearing from me? You know Sam, (while she was crying) I don’t really deserve a love like yours.
(‘’It’s ok Sarah, we still have a chance and time to love each other (while he was drying tears from her cheek and she kissed his fingers) I promise you sweetheart. I’ll never look back as long as you’re here by my side. Because you’re everything and everything is you. Sam said.
(You make me feel another way Sam tenderness, kindness, love, and several of wonderful feelings.)

He told her that he sees them inside of each other and she told that they could complete each other and represent perfect lovers. They did had a great time together, his work-life got better and upgraded, she either got a job and side by side were their moves. Everything was successful and went perfectly. till Lara visited him. She was one of her best friends, she made things up side down and him to see things clearly. It was so cruel but a lot more comfortable, she told him that Sarah was cheating at him and she has BF. Moreover, they’re so in love and planning to go out of the country, He wondered (WHY!!!. We were just about a few steps away to get married. Simply, she murdered me, with no mercy) but If loving her could bring me so much pain, let it be. For no matter how painful this could be , my love for her will always cure it. Sam said.
He hasn’t faced her with that ‘till he finds out by himself what was true or not. However, things gradually started to get out of control between them. He couldn’t hide his disappointed feelings toward her, she also felt that he knows something. Therefore, they made a date to set up the confused goings on and feelings in between.

‘‘Well honey, I think the flame of our love candle is vanishing gradually, do you think that we both can repair whatever was happened without an argument or mad reactions. Our promises never made to be broken, I love you honey and I don’t wanna lose you whatever it takes’’. (Sam, what are you made of. Let me be honest with you, everything between us is just unreal and meaningless because there’s no mutual feelings, I think Lara told you that I have a new BF his name is Dany.



You know what! he likes to embody his dreams to make it the kind that can be made. At least not like yours, please, I beg you, do me a favor, and forget all about the dreamland you wanna make our lives in.
You, you can not take care yourself even) Sarah said. (Well, I really hardly can picture this but I think we had better to break up, but now and for always please remember that once you gave me hope, and promised that you well never let go at any cost. And my life based on that, but the funniest thing is, that life goes on doesn’t care what kind of sufferance I’ll go through!(Sam said). He pleased her to give each other another chance because it deserves, but mightily she denied. Actually, they went their separated ways, everyone turned around with promises to themselves to never look back from that moment till forevermore.

That night was really one of the worst nights of his entire life, he didn’t know that he’s gonna lose his girl,, he never thought that day will ever come , he never thought he is going to wake up one morning knowing that it is over between him and the only girl he loves and adores.

She used to tell him that they will always be together for the rest of their lives, she used to tell him that things will never change between them as long as they are alive, she used to tell him how much she wants to spend the rest of her life with him, and he used to feel the same way with her in everything she said,, and tonight , she blames him for something he has never done , and of course nothing will change her mind , because she lost faith in him.

After that, directly Sam started blaming himself because, he was seeing everything around in pink while there were many other colors he used to touch and to tell. He said frankly that he take full responsibility against what happened. He considered that she’s a girl and she wanted to be sure of her future with him, and that he can protect her, because love only, gets the person nowhere. Otherwise, she wanted to feel and to see him someone not something. He was like yesman, the only one who always apologizes, and he was reasoning the incorrect actions of her. Now he knows that it’s too late to get things back to the right way like it use to be.

*(I miss you darling, I miss to see the morning through your eyes, and the smell of your skin. I miss to feel myself within you no matter for how long, as long as you breathe. I wish if I could get back to the first brilliant day, I saw you, but still a wish. Sorry, regretful, I know it’s not enough to ask your forgiveness, or to fix up things I made down. However, what can I say what can I do to make you go through. Since I left you, I’m sure I left the meaning of life over there at the place we decided the break up. So, please find me overthere, and when you find me, tell me that you still hold a place for me in your heart, but if you would understand. Now, here I am thousands miles away from you and no one is forcing me to write this, but my heart, soul, and my mind is writing at the same time.
The eventful is my only vision without you, I know you did your best in the gone days, but now I beg all the ways to hold you for once at least.

Eventually, I still believe that someday you and me will gather the rest of our memories and regroup again. There must be a glow of light ahead and I’ve to catch up, to show me what and how I should see to get to the right way.)*